Guess Who's Coming for Dinner

In general I think I’m easy to get along with, pretty excepting of most peoples company despite any differences in lifestyle or opinions. I still think this, but something I’ve noticed for the past week or so in my behavior towards a couple of people is a little…off. It’s nothing that I do purposefully, maliciously, or even consciously at the time, but I’m a little concerned. I’ll get to it that in a moment.

I’ll start with some general background information. Peace Corps Volunteers are not the only Americans that come to Tonga for extended periods with a purpose; it’s a slightly different purpose though. Mormon Missionaries are common throughout the islands; they spend two years talking to people about scriptures, explaining where they are coming from and what they do, and lend a hand to communities in different ways. I think a lot of people confuse Peace Corps Volunteers with Missionaries. A huge difference is that Peace Corps has no religious agenda, nor are Volunteers supposed to promote their religious or political views. There’s a fine line between answering questions directed to you about your views and trying to convince people of them, so for me it’s best to avoid the matter.

So, two missionaries from America are staying in my village at the moment and they’ve been here for a little while. Every now and then I get a chance to talk to them, it’s nice talking to people from the Motherland, and they’re nice guys. But something I’m starting to notice bothers me. It’s nothing that they’re doing either…it’s me.

Here’s a story: For months I’ve been trying to find someone from my village to mow my lawn. The grass around my house is not unlike what an abandoned house would look like, and if you park a car there we’re back in rural Mount Airy. Well, last weekend I had just sat down to eat my dinner when I heard a weed eater. It sounded really close, I couldn’t be sure because it had been a while since I heard such a sound around my overgrown rainforest. But just for laughs, I looked outside, and sure enough there was a couple of Tongans cutting my grass, while the two Mormon Missionaries were watching over. I go out to greet my visitors and heroes because somehow they have accomplished something that I haven’t been able to since before I left for America. They were just passing through and noticed how long my grass was and simply told some people that they (the Tongans and themselves) were going to cut it.

Seriously? I’m completely grateful, but can’t help feel a little annoyed or maybe even hurt, from this display of respect for them over me. If not more respect, then certainly more consideration for requests. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe I’m being too sensitive. I don’t know, but I’m happy the grass is cut, and true to character I baked brownies for all who were involved in the efforts and had a very long talk with the guys. Now, here’s where we’re getting to the point of the story.

As I’m talking to the guys, I’m trying to avoid subjects pertaining to God, faith, or anything that might lead into it, because I’m in the mindset that that’s the reason that they’re in Tonga and so maybe that’s the reason they’re in my yard. But then I start to think... I’m being stupid, I shouldn’t be evasive, these are fellow Americans, we can actually have discussions in our own language, less chance of misunderstandings, etc. SO, I think it’s polite to say something positive and take interest in what they do and why they’re here and I say something like, “Yeah I don’t really know a lot about missionaries and Mormonism” and then one of them in turn says “Well we’d be happy to come by and talk to you about it.” And awkwardly and quickly I say “Oh, no I’m ok, I have my own faith.” It later occurs to me that I may have jumped the gun, because I actually said something that was an inquiry and he was simply responding to it.

Despite my social awkwardness, they accept my offer to have a Mexican dinner at my house this weekend as thanks for the yard assistance. I even invite them to come and check out the Library while I have it open this week and they were true to their word by actually coming. They worked with some of the kids on puzzles while giving me more time to work with others on the lesson I had planned. After the Primary School kids left, it was Secondary School time, more laid back, and we were able to chat. Again, I find myself needlessly uncomfortable. I feel like I’m avoiding anything that points to their religion, or my own. But when somehow it comes up, in order to show that I’m not anti-Mormon, I say at some point “Yeah, I’ve read all those ‘Twilight’ books. They were written by a Mormon right? They were good…” The ridiculousness of my behavior continues with such comments as “I knew a Mormon family in High School, and they were really nice.”

For whatever reason I can’t stop trying to show them, and maybe myself, that what they do here, the religion that they practice doesn’t make me a little uncomfortable. If we were in America, I wouldn’t act like this, we’d be on neutral ground, but here I know why they are here…that’s why it’s called a Mission. But without other cause, I’m always a little paranoid that they’re going to try and ‘brainwash’ me into believing in modern day profits, gold tablets, and Jesus being American.

I’m being awful, I’m not giving them a chance to just be John and Joe (changing names here), two guys from America who could be friends to me in this crazy place. Instead, I act as if being Mormon were some weird skin disease staring at me in the face, trying not to look at it, but still can’t help acting like it’s contagious. Plus, maybe they don’t even want me in the flock in the first place, maybe I’m a little full of myself by assuming they’d even bother probing my brain if I let them.

Overall, I think I just want to avoid offending them. I don’t agree with why they’re here, I don’t believe in what they believe, but I don’t want to offend them inadvertently because of all that. I also think the problem is that I’m worried about it too much; it’s highly likely that they realize that my views are different from theirs, and I’m probably not the first they’ve met who feel so. I’ll relax at some point I’m sure…but if I see ANYTHING that looks like a brain probe, I’m out like a fat kid in dodge ball.