Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

It seems like every day someone asks me if I’m married, if I’m going to get married, do I at least have a boyfriend so that maybe the possibility of marriage is in my pathetic single future…the answer is always no. I’m not nearly as concerned with the matter as total strangers seem to be, and their concern is always shown through elaborate facial expressions of pity. But it’s especially tiresome coming from young men fishing for an opportunity to be the ‘moa’ of a palangi gal. Well I have found the perfect defense…lies. Lie, lie, lie, and then lie some more.

Ok, so you might say, “Shannon, lying is wrong and why would you need to lie? Who gives a dead rat whether you’re married or not?” Excellent and very valid point, I know it’s not a big deal, you know this to be true, but it’s a very hard thing to try to reason here. I’ve always explained that ‘no I don’t have a boyfriend,’ ‘no I don’t know when I’ll get married,’ ‘I’m 26,’ ‘no I don’t think that’s too old,’ and you think these questions may end, you think you may be able to give an understandable explanation, but for the most part you can’t. It is complete nonsense that I am 26 years old, with no kids, no husband, no prospect of a husband, and no siblings to boot, so that’s special cause for concern for my poor parents, who are doomed to be grand childless. In Tonga I couldn’t be more pathetic if I was cross-eyed with a tail and no arms.

I got a ride from someone today, a young man who tells me of his aspirations of going to America and maybe he can look me up and we can play tennis together (because tennis was brought up earlier, it’s not an important part of the story though). Then the inevitable ‘do you have a boyfriend?’ question came, and before I knew it, I was speaking of some fictional being that was completely manifested in my noggin. I spoke of a long term, and very serious relationship, and my sweetie is waiting patiently for my return to the U.S. of A.

“You get married with him?” he asked, “Why yes,” I say “we’ve been talking about it ever since he came to Tonga for a visit last year.” And you can see the needle pop this guy’s balloon of hope that my man and I may not be that serious. Oh but we are. “You miss him? You go see him?” he continues, he’s very interested on how things are going with sugar buns. “Yes, I miss him very much. He calls here, I call there, and I can’t wait to see him when I go for a visit in March.” The guy smiles, “Maybe you get married and not come back here.” Haha, we laugh and I say “oh no, we’re waiting until I’m finished working here, and when he’s finished with school he may come here again and we’ll travel around…blah, blah, blah”

This goes on and on, he keeps asking me questions and I keep responding with ease, describing my lover boy and our courtship. I never knew that I could perform so well on the fly; I’ll have to remember this new talent. I mean, I even believe that my fiancé is waiting for my return…boy am I going to be pissed when he’s not at the airport to pick me up…typical.