Follow Your Nose

Started to notice a strange smell the other day, nothing too surprising, there are plenty of strange smells to choose from every day. But this smell…well it wasn’t unfamiliar but not something I’ve smelled around my house before. I thought about the options and immediately didn’t want to believe what came to mind. The smell was the aroma that death carries with it, and I didn’t want to believe that it had carried itself into my house, but I took a look around anyway. I searched everywhere, and to my relief I didn’t find anything, so I came to the only logical conclusion: It must be outside or it’s my imagination… Well first prize for me for denial!

So another day goes by and by the 3^rd day, ok the smell isn’t going anywhere, its home is here in my home, but where??? I follow my nose, I look in every corner and all over the house, and when those 2 minutes were spent, I was stumped again…until I looked up. Tapa.
Okay, Tonga 101 review, Tapa is a local craft that is a made of brown paper-like material to form a thicker mat-like craft with intricate designs all over it in dark browns and black. Often, it’s used as a gift for such events as funerals and weddings, but sometimes as a cover separating the outside roof and the inside of a house whilst allowing any small creature to easily move about above. My house would be the example of the latter. Moving on…

Like Toucan Sam, I followed my nose to a corner spot in the ceiling, but unfortunately Froot Loops were not stashed there for discovery. There was a bubbled out piece of Tapa and like any 9 year old would do, I poked it with my broom just enough for some hair and a couple maggots toppled out…is it too late to say if you have a weak stomach, have eaten, or plan to eat in the near future, that maybe you shouldn’t read this story?

Well I had seen enough, and knew that I wouldn’t be able to dispose of this problem myself without causing more of a mess, so I sought out help. Luckily my Moa in waiting, Taufa Si’i, was home. “Moa” has two meanings in Tongan: chicken, as in KFC finger licking good, or…boyfriend/girlfriend. Yeah I don’t really get it either, but it’s never ending talk about having a Tongan Moa with the Tongans. Taufa Si’i sometimes comes over, plays with the dog and chats with me a bit while I do dishes, very innocent behavior. Of course he is not my Moa, but he’s nicer to have a around than the other guys, but I don’t think I’m bringing any souvenir back to show Mom and Dad. I digress again…

Taufa Si’i came to my rescue, my Sir Lancelot if you will, and without losing composure or his cookies, he took the plastic bags I gave him, stood on my one chair in the house and took the rat out, that I can only imagine was riddled with natures most grotesque garbage men. As I continued to throw endless praise and thanks, he walked out the door to dispose of the corpse. Only he didn’t go very far, he went to Lose’s yard next door, dropped it and covered it with some dirt. See, this is why neighbors in general are lame because their dogs poop in your yard, they always come over taking buckets of water, and they dispose their dead rodents next to the mango tree. So I’m certain the universe will rectify this act when the next thing my dog drags up will look painfully familiar.

The smell is gone, and though this act of chivalry hasn’t won my undying love and affection for Taufa Si’i, it certainly has earned him an infinite amount of baked goods for the rest of my service. I mean seriously the guy drug a decomposing rat out of my ceiling, give him a damn cookie.